Therapists often hear people say, “I don’t really know why I’m here. My life isn’t that bad… I should be happy.” This is a common and confusing feeling.

The fact that we’ve even noticed feeling sad, anxious, or depressed tells us that we’ve already assigned meaning to those feelings. This very sentiment, highlighted in Kieron P. O’Connor’s book “A Constructionist Clinical Psychology for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy,” gets to the heart of a profound, often misunderstood, reason why people seek help. We tend to think therapy is for “big-T” Traumas or major life crises. But what about when there isn’t one? What about when, by all external measures — good job, nice family, stable home — life looks “fine,” but it just doesn’t feel right?

This may be where we begin to notice the stories we tell ourselves about how life should feel.

We Are All Storytellers

Each of us is constantly shaping the story of our own life. We find ways to make sense of who we are, what matters to us, and how the world works. Sometimes these stories sound like, “I am a competent person,” “If I work hard, I will be secure,” or “Good parents always feel…”

Often, our distress doesn’t come from something clearly bad. Sometimes, it happens when the story we’ve been following just doesn’t fit anymore.

Saying, “My life isn’t that bad,” doesn’t mean you’re in denial. It might just mean that feeling anxious, empty, or stuck doesn’t match the story you’ve been telling yourself. When the story no longer fits, it can feel very unsettling.

Implications for the Client

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.

1. You are not “ungrateful” or “broken.” Feeling this way is not a sign of a flaw in your character. It just means your old ways of understanding life might no longer fit. That confusion is often what really hurts.
2. The feeling of “I don’t know why I’m here” is actually the reason to be in therapy. You don’t have to fix a specific problem. Instead, you can explore why your personal story doesn’t match how you feel day to day.
3. Therapy gives you a place to notice and gently change the story you are living. There is space for both your successes and your sadness, for feeling stable and for feeling unsure.

Implications for the Therapist

For therapists and helpers, these words are a gentle reminder.

1. We don’t need to look for a hidden problem. When someone says their life isn’t that bad, we can trust what they feel and just listen.
2. Our role may be to listen for where the story doesn’t fit. Together, we can ask: What does a good life mean to you? What do you think you should feel? Where does feeling stuck not quite make sense?
3. It’s not about finding the perfect story. It’s about finding a way of seeing things that feels more open, kinder, and truer to what you experience.

Sometimes, saying “I don’t know why I’m here” is just the beginning. It can open the door and gently invite you to see what comes next.